Banned from zoo.
Again?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
