i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
