she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
