Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
