i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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