doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Randomize
