I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
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