It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I think my moral compass just broke
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
