We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize
