what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
