guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
You are a genius and a whore.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
