i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
