found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
he thought i was a dude.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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