Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
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