I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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