i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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