what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
