Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
either way he was missing a nipple.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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