You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize