How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
time to smoke my breakfast
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
