ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Houston, we have a blender
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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