considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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