David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
