He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
