then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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