im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
