i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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