You can't special order awesome
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize