Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
