In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I am spending my child support on dildos
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
