Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize