But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
