No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize