i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
