We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
