can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize