Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
