She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
