That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
