Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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