She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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