how can u be prego again
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I just had sex on a roof
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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