I just made out with a guy for $7.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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