i used baking grease as lip gloss
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
