i think my mom watched the whole time
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
