Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
it's great music for shaving your balls
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
