The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Ketchup is God's man juice
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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