He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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