TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
