her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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