we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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