Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Randomize
