separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
