She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
i believe in u and ur pee
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
