we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
