i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
why do cheetos always look like penises
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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