now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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