He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
