This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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