Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
